how can u be prego again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
