You're so nebulous sometimes
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
