i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
