Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
