Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
