it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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