he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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