Sponge bath it is.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
