You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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