Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
