dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
