do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
