I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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