just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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