Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize