There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
