What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
