I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We don't watch enough power rangers
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
