man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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