i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
