she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
