either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
