The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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