so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
