Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
