K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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