What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
bring money and cleavage
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need a hoe opinion
go on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
