is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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