Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
