Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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