he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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