dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
