I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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