Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
