I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
