i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize