it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
