my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
