So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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