dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
