so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
