i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
