Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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