White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
