I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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