btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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