dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
