I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
