The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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