I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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