I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think I just sharted jello shots
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
