Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize