we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
