Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize