Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
false alarm, still single
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize