i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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