hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
