How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
