Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
