____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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