i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
