Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
