The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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